Meme made by ![:iconbork-laser:]( "Bork-Laser")
So I already made my Top Ten Favorite Games list: shinragod.deviantart.com/art/T…
How about a little completion? why not make a 'Worst Games List?"
Trouble with that is; most of us don't intentionally play bad games. Some of them we just found on accident. Most of the games we get are based off reviews and franchises we love. And for the most part; all the positive reviews are pretty legit.
And even if a game like say...'Metal Gear Solid 2' didn't live up to it's predecessor and had flaws with it that cannot be overlooked...it was still playable and had tight gameplay.
So to make this list; I had to dig back into my past and realize how many bad games I actually did play. Games that I found usually by accident. Only a few bad games here I played knowing they were bad; but for different reasons. Most of these games on the list are either disappointing or just plain boring.
Now I don't select these games based off humor. (Only one or two games on here were reviewed by the legendary 'Angry Video Game Nerd.') to review a bad game for real; it has to be played and judged solely from your own perspective. No sense in regurjitating up a bad review on a bad game just because people say its bad.
So all of this is an honest look and opinion.
Buckle Up....we're going in.
#10. The Castlevania Adventure - Thought Simon's Quest was one of the worst in the franchise? Pht...not even. Speaking as a fan of the franchise I can honestly say I've played far worst. And I do have to say; that Castlevania Adventure on Gameboy is THE worst Castlevania game. The biggest problem is none other than "the control." In the early hayday of Castlevania games; the Belmonts moved SO slow. And they died from cheap deaths like pits and being knocked back. So when it first transferred over to a handheld; it fared even worst. Today we have more playable Castlevania titles on handhelds like DS. But for its first outing on a handheld; it was pretty crappy. Christopher Belmont (I have the honor of sharing the least popular Belmont's first name -_-), moves extremely slow; the jumping controls are even worse, and instead of stairs..you climb ropes. And many of the enemies aren't even classic monsters from the originals. No skeletons, ghosts, medusa heads or bats even. Yeah...it was too hard and frustrating. Easily the worst. But it's low on the worst list because there is one element about it I really do like...the music. And for the Castlevania series; music is essential. And this game does deliver on the music. It's awesome. Also; it's sequel was not only better; but really fun. Castlevania adventure II: Belmont's Revenge is among my favorite Castlevania games.
#09. Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron - Known only to a handful of people (most of which grew up as furries upon viewing it) I did not expect this game to monumental. I expected it to be just average. An average sidescroller or even flying shooter game. I mean the show itself had plenty of elements and enemies for the creators to work with to make it decent. So the choices they made for this game are baffling. It is a sidescroller...but it features...what is to me..the stupidest thing you can ever do in a sidescroller. Know how in Mega Man and Contra it's hard despite you shooting at everything? Well in Swat Kats you can shoot...but your projectile does NOT go across the screen all the way. It only goes halfway and disappears. You have to be as close to the enemies as possible to hit them. And they take LOTS of hits. That...is....STUPID!! Really...really...REALLY STUPID!! Upgrading your weapons and health states is RPG style where the number of enemies you kill award you with experience. But leveling is even slower than a standard RPG. And with all the hits the enemies take; you need to level up as much as you can. And the flying stages...they didn't want to be sidescrolling or overhead shooter. They did...Mode 7. Remember F-Zero, Mario Kart, and I think even Star Fox? Well imagine that...but experiencing motion sickness! The Mode 7 in this game has you shooting the enemy while doing a constant barrel roll. It makes me sick looking at it. So all the choices they made for this game clearly showed they didn't care; or were trying to be innovative but didn't know how. They sucked at making this game and I am sure a fan remake would be a helluva lot better.
#8. Primal Rage (on SNES) - Now for the saddest part of this list. Back when I was a kid and finally owned a SNES...other than games I borrowed or rented...I officially owned only TWO games for that system. Yep...TWO games. Donkey Kong Country...and this crappy port of a once cool arcade game: Primal Rage. I never played it in the arcades and there was no place convenient enough to go as a kid to do so. And not many arcades had this. But I wanted to play because...hey..a tournament fighter with dinosaurs and kongs? That sounded pretty cool. So I HAD to play it. I bought it used for five bucks and wham-o....a lame mediocre fighting game with little to no replay value. Just a button mashing graphically inferior let down. Gone are what made the arcade game kind of cool. The controls were even worse, you couldn't eat your followers....and the one draw of this game was removed....the...FATALITIES. Yeah...like Mortal Kombat this game had fatalities...in the arcade at least. I also hear the Genesis and the 32X had them. But unlike Mortal Kombat..they were even harder to pull off. Some fatalities included eating your opponent, slicing your opponent and...pissing on your opponent. Yep; a certain fighter named Chaos would golden shower his opponent with acidic piss if he pulled off his fatality. All the more reason that when it came to arcade ports of fighting games: SNES truly was inferior to Sega in this case. The only thing I got out of this game were the designs of the creatures. they were cool and I still like them; especially the cobra dinosaur hybrid Vertigo. She's awesome; and I also think she's the best fighter. But this game has not aged well at all....and it's novelty is as prehistoric as the fighters themselves. It was just a one-time deal: Mortal Kombat meets Jurassic Park. And speaking of which....
#7. Jurassic Park (on GENESIS) - With Primal Rage on SNES; it sucked but I didn't expect its play value to last forever. But I did however, expect this game to be better. In fact; I expected this game to be legendary and perhaps even be the best movie adapted game ever. I mean really: Jurassic Park! It's the perfect movie to make a video game based off of it. You go around trying to survive fighting your way through tons of dinosaurs. You could even face dinosaurs that weren't even in the movie. I remember the old Kenner action figures made dinosaurs that were never in the movie either. So you have this incredible concept at your disposal. Oh and your big draw; you programmed it so you could play as the velociraptor in the Genesis version. And the graphics were indeed the best for any Jurassic Park game at the time; the opening scene with the T Rex looked really good and scary. So it's all in the bag right? WRONG!!! Too bad they were so overly proud of their graphics, ability to play as the raptor and the movie's success...they forgot to make it playable. The controls were not only sluggish, the navigation was dreadful. A lot of times the platforms repeat and you're going into odd directions that make it almost look like the game has a sort of glitch. And most of the time you jump: it's a leap of faith. It's never clear where the pits are. And if you're playing as the velociraptor....it gets harder because she can't get to most of the places the human can. So the novelty as playing as the raptor wears off fast. Like Swat Kats; the creators of this game had a ton of concepts lying at their feet and screwed it up. But I didn't expect Swat Kats to be better than average. I expected Jurassic Park to be better than average; because how can you screw up a game based off a movie that was too perfect for a game? They did; and that's why it's number 7 on this list...it's inexcusable how it turned out.
#6. Pac-Man (on ATARI 2600) - Yes; I once had an Atari 2600. Our family owned it. It was given to my mom from her boss when she worked at a now defunct ball company called Mikasa. (No..not the Mikasa from 'Attack on Titan'; c'mon people...). So we only pulled this system out every now and then. I was about five when we had it; so I wasn't fully enveloped into home console games. I used to play my grandpa's computer games on his Apple Macintosh. So when playing Atari; this is probably the first recognizable video game character I ever met. And why not? Pac-Man was the first video game character (the other being Donkey Kong) to be world renown and have an impact on our culture...before the Super Mario Bros. dominated it all. And what a way to be introduced to him. Playing...again...yet another crappy port of the original arcade game. But I never played the arcade game. Remember: I was five when I first played this. So for the time; I didn't know any better. But I instantly compared this to the Apple computer games I was playing. And those were far better. Now at first playing through it it's not bad. Go around the maze, eat pellets, avoid the ghosts. Basic stuff. But the fun wore off quickly because it was the same maze over..and over...and over...and over..and over again. No variety whatsoever. And the ghosts didn't even follow a set pattern. They just flickered all over the place; and I think it was only one ghosts fluttering around in random directions. The sound in this game was annoying; even for Atari standards. It was just an utterly boring game. Like Atari 2600; it remains forgotten as one of the earliest mascot driven games I have ever played.
#5. Deadly Towers - So here's a game I knew was intentionally bad from the start. And I could have picked ANY bad game to go through. So why of all the bad games on NES; why this one? Why not torture myself with more infamously bad NES games like 'Bad Dudes?' Well it was all because of the Angry video Game Nerd. And it wasn't because he reviewed it. It was because he was going to review it. And we were gonna help him write the review/rant/staged anger fest for it. We each had to play the game and send in our "phrases" to use. This was like back in 2008; so I honestly don't remember what I wrote. I think the only one of my rants I remember writing about it was about the cover. It went something like this: 'Lookit the cover; kind of reminds me of Castlevania. Except this game is more like ASS-Levania." You think the Nerd being a huge Castlevania fan like me would pick that. But nope; he didn't. He didn't pick any of my entries. I'm not angry or anything; I hold nothing against James for not picking anything I submitted. But my problem was I was now stuck with this unplayable and pitiful NES Game. No game store would ever take it back; it was not worth selling on eBay..and it's not even fun to play for shits n' giggles. It looks awful, plays awful and is overall awful. It's worthless. So it ranks #5 in this list because it was the first video game I ever threw away in the garbage. Even if I had a bad game I never threw it away; I just returned it. But this game is so worthless no one wants it. And since the contest to submit stuff to The Nerd is far over; I would never EVER revisit it again. So yeah; it had no place to go except the trash. That alone earns it a high spot on this list.
#4. The Great Waldo Search (on NES) - Waldo books are definitely a 'thing of the past.' I wonder if they even make them anymore? Well they were popular at one point; prompting tons of different books, a cartoon, Spaghetti-Os (of all things) and of course....video games. You know what...Waldo games would have been suitable for computers. These are the type of games a kid or even an adult can casually play on a computer; and that would be acceptable. But on a video game console; especially NES where you could be playing Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Mega Man, Castlevania, Mike tyson's Punch Out.....now Waldo? Honestly...you really wanna find Waldo on your NES!?? That is so lame it's laughable. I played it as part of a garage sale bargain bin sort of thing where I finally got an NES and a bunch of games with it. This Waldo game was one of them. I figured; well the idea of finding Waldo on my NES sounds pretty lame...but it's gotta be more than just finding him right? Well sort of. In between finding Waldo you do play some mini games. The only one I remember was flying Waldo's dog (forgot his name) on a magic carpet to rack up points. And that's all the "game" is...racking up points. Find Waldo in a certain time limit, find scrolls for this wizard and play some mini games that you really can't lose and....that's it. Just see how many points you can get by the end of it all. This makes the game...pointless. In fact...I dare say...this barely qualifies as a game. The most worthless thing on NES are getting points. Unless it's used to get extra lives of course. But this "game" doesn't require lives...only trial and error. And you can be beat this game in less than ten minutes. Imagine having to buy it back then for like fifty bucks. (!!!!!!!!!!) So as bad as the previous contenders were; at least those were games. This is just a pointless waste of time. But is there something even worse than a pointless game? Oh yeah...there is.
#3. Mario is Missing (on NES) - Of all the game that wasted my time and money...none were more cunning and deceptive than this cruel trick. The concept is something a lot of kids growing up with NES would have loved. Mario is kidnapped by Bowser and it's up to Luigi to save him. Luigi's first game without him being shoved to second character status. Now that's a great idea!!! And look at these graphics. It may not be SNES 16 bits...but for NES they look great!! So this sounds like a real winner. And I remember the back of the box; it showed the map layout like Super Mario Bros. 3; and one of the fortresses was a skull. Cool!! A skull fortress to explore. So I rented it. And then I got home...played it...and then found out I had been conned. This is not a platformer game like super Mario Bros. 3 at all. This is...an "educational" game. That's the first strike. But I remember playing "where in Time is Carmen San Diego" on NES; and that was actually entertaining. So I'll give it a shot. The only enemies are Koopas...who can't hurt you. You jump on them and get a bag with an item. And that skull icon I mentioned earlier...it's not a fortress. It's one of the items. That is not an area to explore...that's just a marker where you deliver the bagged item to a generic looking store. In this case....the skull dropped by the Koopa. That's strike 2...for a Mario Bro's world map to lie to me like that. And then there's the whole dull exploration part and having to use Yoshi to reach the window to deliver the item. And the only way to learn what the item is people telling you what it is without learning more behind it. You don't find out more info about it unless you want to through the menu screen. It's not like Carmen San Diego where you DO learn stuff about locations and what she stole as it is essential to catch her. So for an "educational" game, it teaches me NOTHING. Strike three! YOU'RE OUT!!!
I learned only one thing from this game....there will be instances where companies will sucker you into buying or playing a game that will end up being a huge waste of time. money and life. And of all the games I was conned into thinking were gonna be good; this one is the biggest con artist of them all.
#2. - E.T (on ATARI 2600) - Oh yeah...I've been there. I have indeed played what is considered by many to be...the worst game of all time. Well it may not be THE Worst (which is why it's at number 2) but it's so virtually unplayable that it still deserves it. Because this was a game that for the time; it needed a guide for you to navigate it. With the graphics and no instruction manual telling me what to do....I was lost. I had no idea what to do or where I was supposed to go. I played this game WAY before internet. There was no one there to help me. There was no guide or manual telling me what to do. So....I didn't know that ultimately I was supposed to collect phone parts. This is why the game is so bad. you have absolutely, positively no freaking clue whatsoever on what to do. Back then I witnessed first hand that getting lost in a game with no clear objective is not fun. And with Atari graphics I couldn't tell what was what. how would I know those were phone parts? Because of the movie? Well that's another problem. When I was that age of five; I never saw ET. One of the reasons was...I admit it...ET scared me. He wasn't cute; he was scary. So I didn't want to watch the movie because ET just didn't appeal to me. So yeah; I had no idea what anything looked like in the game or what was going on. The infamous pits.....didn't know I would fall in so many of them and gradually make my way up only to fall into them again. Being brought back to the house by..what appeared to be Elliot. Being kidnapped by government agents. I didn't know what was going on or if anything happening was supposed to represent what I just said. This is why when we sold our Atari 2600; we never got it back. Unless NES and SNES...when I sold them as a kid to buy the newer systems; eventually I got them all back again when I got more money. Atari 2600 isn't a system I would ever revisit. Because it's incomprehensible games like this with graphics that don't even barely resemble anything identifiable that steer me away from it. Oh yeah there are good games on Atari 2600 like Frogger, Space Invadersm Asteroids...well who cares!? I know I don't!! ET is number 2 in the countdown because it was one of the main reasons that nowhere in my life will I ever revisit Atari 2600.
And yet....it's not the worst game on this list. Yes; there IS a game far far FAR worse than ET on Atari. It's number 1; and it lurches it's way in right now.
#1. Sonic the Hedgehog 2....the Tiger Electronic Handheld version. - Oh...my....God!!! What is this hunk of plastic crap!? This is a game? this the handheld version of Sonic the Hedgehog 2? You mean to tell me if I never owned a Genesis and my parents wouldn't get me one; this is the best I could get!? For the time when my parents thought this was the best they could do for me to experience Sonic; this is the best they could do!? How did I survive back then? How did I survive!? O.o
I have plated Sonic the Hedgehog 2; and it frankly is among the best Sonic games I ever played. Sure it was later; but it was really fun. But back when I was a kid and everyone else was enjoying Sonic in his hayday; all I had....was this. This pathetic excuse for a handheld version of Sonic 2. Unlike every game I had on here so far...this thing is not even what I consider a game. Even Waldo on NES was a more varied game than this. This was a digital illusion. It only made you feel like it was a game. But it wasn't because how it "played" was anything but being a true game. It was just another con. Another trick. But my parents got it for me because it was cheap. And they figure it would be the best way to satisfy my "game craving" without playing a regular console that would distract me from my schoolwork.
The sad thing was; I actually believed it was sort of a game. But in reality I never figured out how it really worked. I didn't know if I was beating an enemy or how I died all of a sudden. And all this because I was so desperate to play sonic the Hedgehog (I watched Sonic SatAM alot as a kid) that I actually believed what I was playing resembled the game as close as I'd ever get to it. But it's nothing at all like it. This was all an illusion. This was garbage. And it wasn't the only Tiger handheld game I had. no we had other cheap ass alternatives. I had a crappy version of Karnov on the tiger handheld; me and my sister got Aladdin and Beauty and the Beat too. But the reason this one is the worst Tiger game and THE worst game I ever played was because it was beyond inferior to Sonic the Hedgehog 2...one of the greatest anthro games ever made. This was beyond pitiful. An NES port of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 would have been more fun. An Atari 2600 version of sonic the Hedgehog 2 would have been more fun. I'm not even overexaggerating; I could never imagine those being more pitiful and even worse than this. This really was depressing. Being that poor kid whose parents never would buy him or let him a video game console because of the price and being overly worried it would distract me from school. Mom and dad...this game tops my list because it also reminds me how overbearing you were to me at times. >![=(]( "=( (Sad)")
You got me this because it was cheaper and you didn't want me to get a Genesis. That is why...when it comes to the worst video game I ever played....the Tiger handheld version of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 truly is the creme de la crap bottom of the barrel ass stinker of all time!
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So I already made my Top Ten Favorite Games list: shinragod.deviantart.com/art/T…
How about a little completion? why not make a 'Worst Games List?"
Trouble with that is; most of us don't intentionally play bad games. Some of them we just found on accident. Most of the games we get are based off reviews and franchises we love. And for the most part; all the positive reviews are pretty legit.
And even if a game like say...'Metal Gear Solid 2' didn't live up to it's predecessor and had flaws with it that cannot be overlooked...it was still playable and had tight gameplay.
So to make this list; I had to dig back into my past and realize how many bad games I actually did play. Games that I found usually by accident. Only a few bad games here I played knowing they were bad; but for different reasons. Most of these games on the list are either disappointing or just plain boring.
Now I don't select these games based off humor. (Only one or two games on here were reviewed by the legendary 'Angry Video Game Nerd.') to review a bad game for real; it has to be played and judged solely from your own perspective. No sense in regurjitating up a bad review on a bad game just because people say its bad.
So all of this is an honest look and opinion.
Buckle Up....we're going in.
#10. The Castlevania Adventure - Thought Simon's Quest was one of the worst in the franchise? Pht...not even. Speaking as a fan of the franchise I can honestly say I've played far worst. And I do have to say; that Castlevania Adventure on Gameboy is THE worst Castlevania game. The biggest problem is none other than "the control." In the early hayday of Castlevania games; the Belmonts moved SO slow. And they died from cheap deaths like pits and being knocked back. So when it first transferred over to a handheld; it fared even worst. Today we have more playable Castlevania titles on handhelds like DS. But for its first outing on a handheld; it was pretty crappy. Christopher Belmont (I have the honor of sharing the least popular Belmont's first name -_-), moves extremely slow; the jumping controls are even worse, and instead of stairs..you climb ropes. And many of the enemies aren't even classic monsters from the originals. No skeletons, ghosts, medusa heads or bats even. Yeah...it was too hard and frustrating. Easily the worst. But it's low on the worst list because there is one element about it I really do like...the music. And for the Castlevania series; music is essential. And this game does deliver on the music. It's awesome. Also; it's sequel was not only better; but really fun. Castlevania adventure II: Belmont's Revenge is among my favorite Castlevania games.
#09. Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron - Known only to a handful of people (most of which grew up as furries upon viewing it) I did not expect this game to monumental. I expected it to be just average. An average sidescroller or even flying shooter game. I mean the show itself had plenty of elements and enemies for the creators to work with to make it decent. So the choices they made for this game are baffling. It is a sidescroller...but it features...what is to me..the stupidest thing you can ever do in a sidescroller. Know how in Mega Man and Contra it's hard despite you shooting at everything? Well in Swat Kats you can shoot...but your projectile does NOT go across the screen all the way. It only goes halfway and disappears. You have to be as close to the enemies as possible to hit them. And they take LOTS of hits. That...is....STUPID!! Really...really...REALLY STUPID!! Upgrading your weapons and health states is RPG style where the number of enemies you kill award you with experience. But leveling is even slower than a standard RPG. And with all the hits the enemies take; you need to level up as much as you can. And the flying stages...they didn't want to be sidescrolling or overhead shooter. They did...Mode 7. Remember F-Zero, Mario Kart, and I think even Star Fox? Well imagine that...but experiencing motion sickness! The Mode 7 in this game has you shooting the enemy while doing a constant barrel roll. It makes me sick looking at it. So all the choices they made for this game clearly showed they didn't care; or were trying to be innovative but didn't know how. They sucked at making this game and I am sure a fan remake would be a helluva lot better.
#8. Primal Rage (on SNES) - Now for the saddest part of this list. Back when I was a kid and finally owned a SNES...other than games I borrowed or rented...I officially owned only TWO games for that system. Yep...TWO games. Donkey Kong Country...and this crappy port of a once cool arcade game: Primal Rage. I never played it in the arcades and there was no place convenient enough to go as a kid to do so. And not many arcades had this. But I wanted to play because...hey..a tournament fighter with dinosaurs and kongs? That sounded pretty cool. So I HAD to play it. I bought it used for five bucks and wham-o....a lame mediocre fighting game with little to no replay value. Just a button mashing graphically inferior let down. Gone are what made the arcade game kind of cool. The controls were even worse, you couldn't eat your followers....and the one draw of this game was removed....the...FATALITIES. Yeah...like Mortal Kombat this game had fatalities...in the arcade at least. I also hear the Genesis and the 32X had them. But unlike Mortal Kombat..they were even harder to pull off. Some fatalities included eating your opponent, slicing your opponent and...pissing on your opponent. Yep; a certain fighter named Chaos would golden shower his opponent with acidic piss if he pulled off his fatality. All the more reason that when it came to arcade ports of fighting games: SNES truly was inferior to Sega in this case. The only thing I got out of this game were the designs of the creatures. they were cool and I still like them; especially the cobra dinosaur hybrid Vertigo. She's awesome; and I also think she's the best fighter. But this game has not aged well at all....and it's novelty is as prehistoric as the fighters themselves. It was just a one-time deal: Mortal Kombat meets Jurassic Park. And speaking of which....
#7. Jurassic Park (on GENESIS) - With Primal Rage on SNES; it sucked but I didn't expect its play value to last forever. But I did however, expect this game to be better. In fact; I expected this game to be legendary and perhaps even be the best movie adapted game ever. I mean really: Jurassic Park! It's the perfect movie to make a video game based off of it. You go around trying to survive fighting your way through tons of dinosaurs. You could even face dinosaurs that weren't even in the movie. I remember the old Kenner action figures made dinosaurs that were never in the movie either. So you have this incredible concept at your disposal. Oh and your big draw; you programmed it so you could play as the velociraptor in the Genesis version. And the graphics were indeed the best for any Jurassic Park game at the time; the opening scene with the T Rex looked really good and scary. So it's all in the bag right? WRONG!!! Too bad they were so overly proud of their graphics, ability to play as the raptor and the movie's success...they forgot to make it playable. The controls were not only sluggish, the navigation was dreadful. A lot of times the platforms repeat and you're going into odd directions that make it almost look like the game has a sort of glitch. And most of the time you jump: it's a leap of faith. It's never clear where the pits are. And if you're playing as the velociraptor....it gets harder because she can't get to most of the places the human can. So the novelty as playing as the raptor wears off fast. Like Swat Kats; the creators of this game had a ton of concepts lying at their feet and screwed it up. But I didn't expect Swat Kats to be better than average. I expected Jurassic Park to be better than average; because how can you screw up a game based off a movie that was too perfect for a game? They did; and that's why it's number 7 on this list...it's inexcusable how it turned out.
#6. Pac-Man (on ATARI 2600) - Yes; I once had an Atari 2600. Our family owned it. It was given to my mom from her boss when she worked at a now defunct ball company called Mikasa. (No..not the Mikasa from 'Attack on Titan'; c'mon people...). So we only pulled this system out every now and then. I was about five when we had it; so I wasn't fully enveloped into home console games. I used to play my grandpa's computer games on his Apple Macintosh. So when playing Atari; this is probably the first recognizable video game character I ever met. And why not? Pac-Man was the first video game character (the other being Donkey Kong) to be world renown and have an impact on our culture...before the Super Mario Bros. dominated it all. And what a way to be introduced to him. Playing...again...yet another crappy port of the original arcade game. But I never played the arcade game. Remember: I was five when I first played this. So for the time; I didn't know any better. But I instantly compared this to the Apple computer games I was playing. And those were far better. Now at first playing through it it's not bad. Go around the maze, eat pellets, avoid the ghosts. Basic stuff. But the fun wore off quickly because it was the same maze over..and over...and over...and over..and over again. No variety whatsoever. And the ghosts didn't even follow a set pattern. They just flickered all over the place; and I think it was only one ghosts fluttering around in random directions. The sound in this game was annoying; even for Atari standards. It was just an utterly boring game. Like Atari 2600; it remains forgotten as one of the earliest mascot driven games I have ever played.
#5. Deadly Towers - So here's a game I knew was intentionally bad from the start. And I could have picked ANY bad game to go through. So why of all the bad games on NES; why this one? Why not torture myself with more infamously bad NES games like 'Bad Dudes?' Well it was all because of the Angry video Game Nerd. And it wasn't because he reviewed it. It was because he was going to review it. And we were gonna help him write the review/rant/staged anger fest for it. We each had to play the game and send in our "phrases" to use. This was like back in 2008; so I honestly don't remember what I wrote. I think the only one of my rants I remember writing about it was about the cover. It went something like this: 'Lookit the cover; kind of reminds me of Castlevania. Except this game is more like ASS-Levania." You think the Nerd being a huge Castlevania fan like me would pick that. But nope; he didn't. He didn't pick any of my entries. I'm not angry or anything; I hold nothing against James for not picking anything I submitted. But my problem was I was now stuck with this unplayable and pitiful NES Game. No game store would ever take it back; it was not worth selling on eBay..and it's not even fun to play for shits n' giggles. It looks awful, plays awful and is overall awful. It's worthless. So it ranks #5 in this list because it was the first video game I ever threw away in the garbage. Even if I had a bad game I never threw it away; I just returned it. But this game is so worthless no one wants it. And since the contest to submit stuff to The Nerd is far over; I would never EVER revisit it again. So yeah; it had no place to go except the trash. That alone earns it a high spot on this list.
#4. The Great Waldo Search (on NES) - Waldo books are definitely a 'thing of the past.' I wonder if they even make them anymore? Well they were popular at one point; prompting tons of different books, a cartoon, Spaghetti-Os (of all things) and of course....video games. You know what...Waldo games would have been suitable for computers. These are the type of games a kid or even an adult can casually play on a computer; and that would be acceptable. But on a video game console; especially NES where you could be playing Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Mega Man, Castlevania, Mike tyson's Punch Out.....now Waldo? Honestly...you really wanna find Waldo on your NES!?? That is so lame it's laughable. I played it as part of a garage sale bargain bin sort of thing where I finally got an NES and a bunch of games with it. This Waldo game was one of them. I figured; well the idea of finding Waldo on my NES sounds pretty lame...but it's gotta be more than just finding him right? Well sort of. In between finding Waldo you do play some mini games. The only one I remember was flying Waldo's dog (forgot his name) on a magic carpet to rack up points. And that's all the "game" is...racking up points. Find Waldo in a certain time limit, find scrolls for this wizard and play some mini games that you really can't lose and....that's it. Just see how many points you can get by the end of it all. This makes the game...pointless. In fact...I dare say...this barely qualifies as a game. The most worthless thing on NES are getting points. Unless it's used to get extra lives of course. But this "game" doesn't require lives...only trial and error. And you can be beat this game in less than ten minutes. Imagine having to buy it back then for like fifty bucks. (!!!!!!!!!!) So as bad as the previous contenders were; at least those were games. This is just a pointless waste of time. But is there something even worse than a pointless game? Oh yeah...there is.
#3. Mario is Missing (on NES) - Of all the game that wasted my time and money...none were more cunning and deceptive than this cruel trick. The concept is something a lot of kids growing up with NES would have loved. Mario is kidnapped by Bowser and it's up to Luigi to save him. Luigi's first game without him being shoved to second character status. Now that's a great idea!!! And look at these graphics. It may not be SNES 16 bits...but for NES they look great!! So this sounds like a real winner. And I remember the back of the box; it showed the map layout like Super Mario Bros. 3; and one of the fortresses was a skull. Cool!! A skull fortress to explore. So I rented it. And then I got home...played it...and then found out I had been conned. This is not a platformer game like super Mario Bros. 3 at all. This is...an "educational" game. That's the first strike. But I remember playing "where in Time is Carmen San Diego" on NES; and that was actually entertaining. So I'll give it a shot. The only enemies are Koopas...who can't hurt you. You jump on them and get a bag with an item. And that skull icon I mentioned earlier...it's not a fortress. It's one of the items. That is not an area to explore...that's just a marker where you deliver the bagged item to a generic looking store. In this case....the skull dropped by the Koopa. That's strike 2...for a Mario Bro's world map to lie to me like that. And then there's the whole dull exploration part and having to use Yoshi to reach the window to deliver the item. And the only way to learn what the item is people telling you what it is without learning more behind it. You don't find out more info about it unless you want to through the menu screen. It's not like Carmen San Diego where you DO learn stuff about locations and what she stole as it is essential to catch her. So for an "educational" game, it teaches me NOTHING. Strike three! YOU'RE OUT!!!
I learned only one thing from this game....there will be instances where companies will sucker you into buying or playing a game that will end up being a huge waste of time. money and life. And of all the games I was conned into thinking were gonna be good; this one is the biggest con artist of them all.
#2. - E.T (on ATARI 2600) - Oh yeah...I've been there. I have indeed played what is considered by many to be...the worst game of all time. Well it may not be THE Worst (which is why it's at number 2) but it's so virtually unplayable that it still deserves it. Because this was a game that for the time; it needed a guide for you to navigate it. With the graphics and no instruction manual telling me what to do....I was lost. I had no idea what to do or where I was supposed to go. I played this game WAY before internet. There was no one there to help me. There was no guide or manual telling me what to do. So....I didn't know that ultimately I was supposed to collect phone parts. This is why the game is so bad. you have absolutely, positively no freaking clue whatsoever on what to do. Back then I witnessed first hand that getting lost in a game with no clear objective is not fun. And with Atari graphics I couldn't tell what was what. how would I know those were phone parts? Because of the movie? Well that's another problem. When I was that age of five; I never saw ET. One of the reasons was...I admit it...ET scared me. He wasn't cute; he was scary. So I didn't want to watch the movie because ET just didn't appeal to me. So yeah; I had no idea what anything looked like in the game or what was going on. The infamous pits.....didn't know I would fall in so many of them and gradually make my way up only to fall into them again. Being brought back to the house by..what appeared to be Elliot. Being kidnapped by government agents. I didn't know what was going on or if anything happening was supposed to represent what I just said. This is why when we sold our Atari 2600; we never got it back. Unless NES and SNES...when I sold them as a kid to buy the newer systems; eventually I got them all back again when I got more money. Atari 2600 isn't a system I would ever revisit. Because it's incomprehensible games like this with graphics that don't even barely resemble anything identifiable that steer me away from it. Oh yeah there are good games on Atari 2600 like Frogger, Space Invadersm Asteroids...well who cares!? I know I don't!! ET is number 2 in the countdown because it was one of the main reasons that nowhere in my life will I ever revisit Atari 2600.
And yet....it's not the worst game on this list. Yes; there IS a game far far FAR worse than ET on Atari. It's number 1; and it lurches it's way in right now.
#1. Sonic the Hedgehog 2....the Tiger Electronic Handheld version. - Oh...my....God!!! What is this hunk of plastic crap!? This is a game? this the handheld version of Sonic the Hedgehog 2? You mean to tell me if I never owned a Genesis and my parents wouldn't get me one; this is the best I could get!? For the time when my parents thought this was the best they could do for me to experience Sonic; this is the best they could do!? How did I survive back then? How did I survive!? O.o
I have plated Sonic the Hedgehog 2; and it frankly is among the best Sonic games I ever played. Sure it was later; but it was really fun. But back when I was a kid and everyone else was enjoying Sonic in his hayday; all I had....was this. This pathetic excuse for a handheld version of Sonic 2. Unlike every game I had on here so far...this thing is not even what I consider a game. Even Waldo on NES was a more varied game than this. This was a digital illusion. It only made you feel like it was a game. But it wasn't because how it "played" was anything but being a true game. It was just another con. Another trick. But my parents got it for me because it was cheap. And they figure it would be the best way to satisfy my "game craving" without playing a regular console that would distract me from my schoolwork.
The sad thing was; I actually believed it was sort of a game. But in reality I never figured out how it really worked. I didn't know if I was beating an enemy or how I died all of a sudden. And all this because I was so desperate to play sonic the Hedgehog (I watched Sonic SatAM alot as a kid) that I actually believed what I was playing resembled the game as close as I'd ever get to it. But it's nothing at all like it. This was all an illusion. This was garbage. And it wasn't the only Tiger handheld game I had. no we had other cheap ass alternatives. I had a crappy version of Karnov on the tiger handheld; me and my sister got Aladdin and Beauty and the Beat too. But the reason this one is the worst Tiger game and THE worst game I ever played was because it was beyond inferior to Sonic the Hedgehog 2...one of the greatest anthro games ever made. This was beyond pitiful. An NES port of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 would have been more fun. An Atari 2600 version of sonic the Hedgehog 2 would have been more fun. I'm not even overexaggerating; I could never imagine those being more pitiful and even worse than this. This really was depressing. Being that poor kid whose parents never would buy him or let him a video game console because of the price and being overly worried it would distract me from school. Mom and dad...this game tops my list because it also reminds me how overbearing you were to me at times. >
You got me this because it was cheaper and you didn't want me to get a Genesis. That is why...when it comes to the worst video game I ever played....the Tiger handheld version of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 truly is the creme de la crap bottom of the barrel ass stinker of all time!